Let's imagine that you're an above-average guitarist and, on top of that, an honest broker. You think meritocracy and talent win over hype and foul play in the long run. That might be true every now and then but in the virtual guitar world this mentality will be punished and the fakers and the phonies will leave you in the dust.
Here's why.
You create a video of your above-average guitar performance and load it up to YouTube and share a link to it to all your fake and disinterested 'friends' at FaceBook. After a month you might have 17 plays, two thumbs-up and a thumbs-down. WTF is going on here? You're not alone. That horrible feeling that you're being ignored while bullshit artists get all the attention is exactly the feeling you're supposed to have. That bad feeling has been engineered.
YouTube and Facebook (the two main engines of unhappiness in the universe) are behavior and emotional modification systems that live on anxieties, fears, anger, jealousy, and dissatisfactions. This is nothing new: all advertising exists to create feelings of dissatisfaction and angst -- these feelings sell products to people who don't need them.
You have failed on YT and FB with your above-average content because, ultimately, YT and FB exist to pleasure people who spend advertising dollars. If you're not a spender of advertising dollars you will not be happy at YT or FB because that system is not for you. Here's how you can turn your abilities into attention and notoriety.
Instead of just playing music on your guitar let's turn you into, say, a technical wizard that can do the seemingly impossible. Basically, we want to create something that causes cognitive dissonance: the eyes see one thing, the ears hear something else, and your education and intelligence expect something totally different. We want a huge perceptual mess.
The normal and expected are things we find outside of F-Book and YouTube. On FB and YT we want the absurd and the freakish. We need a train wreck, Bro.
1. Record some random instrumental thing into your DAW with some random backing track (or just download a MIDI file from any number of websites). If you're going to go to the trouble to create your own audio we will have to eventually turn this into MIDI data so either just use a MIDI-capable guitar to record the part or, if that's too much trouble, use a program to convert your guitar's signal into MIDI data (e.g., Jam Origin).
The MIDI Kiddies have the right idea. Let this guy explain.
But what we're really talking about social media and the content you provide is almost irrelevant. But you do need some kind of abnormal content so it should be jarring and unexpected. So, like the cowbell, you're gonna need that MIDI data! You can't do this stuff outside of YouTube or FakeBook with a Martin.
2. Now that you have some random backing track and MIDI data you can edit it any way you like including ramping up the tempo so that it plays two, three, or four times faster than the original file. Hell, just create an impossible blur.
Run that MIDI into a synth plugin for some guitar-like sound or create multiple instances of the file all playing different patches. It might sound absurd but that's not a problem. You might be concerned that people will dismiss your video as a hoax or obvious bullshit (after all it looks insane, sounds crazy, and defies logic) but don't worry about that one little bit. YouTube and the F-book are not realms where truth and veracity have any power. We're living in a Post-Truth world where "Believing is Seeing."
3. Stretch and synch your video file to the new hoax audio file. Alternately, you can just shoot a new video where you mimic your performance to the new fake audio. Don't blink more than a few times and stay as still as possible. And don't forget to plug your guitar in!
I know, you're worried that it looks like an obvious manipulation but, trust me, we're going to a place where manipulation is the norm. People don't want to see what they expect to see, they want to see the impossible, the novel, and the absurd. This is entertainment! People want and love bullshit. Remember, advertising and hype will bend the minds of almost anybody into believing what they are told to believe.
You create a video of your above-average guitar performance and load it up to YouTube and share a link to it to all your fake and disinterested 'friends' at FaceBook. After a month you might have 17 plays, two thumbs-up and a thumbs-down. WTF is going on here? You're not alone. That horrible feeling that you're being ignored while bullshit artists get all the attention is exactly the feeling you're supposed to have. That bad feeling has been engineered.
YouTube and Facebook (the two main engines of unhappiness in the universe) are behavior and emotional modification systems that live on anxieties, fears, anger, jealousy, and dissatisfactions. This is nothing new: all advertising exists to create feelings of dissatisfaction and angst -- these feelings sell products to people who don't need them.
You have failed on YT and FB with your above-average content because, ultimately, YT and FB exist to pleasure people who spend advertising dollars. If you're not a spender of advertising dollars you will not be happy at YT or FB because that system is not for you. Here's how you can turn your abilities into attention and notoriety.
Instead of just playing music on your guitar let's turn you into, say, a technical wizard that can do the seemingly impossible. Basically, we want to create something that causes cognitive dissonance: the eyes see one thing, the ears hear something else, and your education and intelligence expect something totally different. We want a huge perceptual mess.
The normal and expected are things we find outside of F-Book and YouTube. On FB and YT we want the absurd and the freakish. We need a train wreck, Bro.
1. Record some random instrumental thing into your DAW with some random backing track (or just download a MIDI file from any number of websites). If you're going to go to the trouble to create your own audio we will have to eventually turn this into MIDI data so either just use a MIDI-capable guitar to record the part or, if that's too much trouble, use a program to convert your guitar's signal into MIDI data (e.g., Jam Origin).
The MIDI Kiddies have the right idea. Let this guy explain.
But what we're really talking about social media and the content you provide is almost irrelevant. But you do need some kind of abnormal content so it should be jarring and unexpected. So, like the cowbell, you're gonna need that MIDI data! You can't do this stuff outside of YouTube or FakeBook with a Martin.
2. Now that you have some random backing track and MIDI data you can edit it any way you like including ramping up the tempo so that it plays two, three, or four times faster than the original file. Hell, just create an impossible blur.
Run that MIDI into a synth plugin for some guitar-like sound or create multiple instances of the file all playing different patches. It might sound absurd but that's not a problem. You might be concerned that people will dismiss your video as a hoax or obvious bullshit (after all it looks insane, sounds crazy, and defies logic) but don't worry about that one little bit. YouTube and the F-book are not realms where truth and veracity have any power. We're living in a Post-Truth world where "Believing is Seeing."
3. Stretch and synch your video file to the new hoax audio file. Alternately, you can just shoot a new video where you mimic your performance to the new fake audio. Don't blink more than a few times and stay as still as possible. And don't forget to plug your guitar in!
I know, you're worried that it looks like an obvious manipulation but, trust me, we're going to a place where manipulation is the norm. People don't want to see what they expect to see, they want to see the impossible, the novel, and the absurd. This is entertainment! People want and love bullshit. Remember, advertising and hype will bend the minds of almost anybody into believing what they are told to believe.
We have entered the domain of the spectacle.
4. Go ahead and upload your video to YT but instead of relying on your disinterested 'friends' and trusting in your abilities, you're going to put your trust in the dollar.
Let's run with an ad like "Impossible Guitar Skills Overnight" or whatever. Just promise to amaze in some way. You won't believe your eyes!
Hang on a second! There's a kink in this whole thing. You don't want real people clicking on a link to a page that has 14 subscribers, two likes, and empty comments sections!
5. Popularity depends on already being popular. This is the trick that most people haven't figured out. It's the old, Catch 22: to be popular you have to already be popular. Hype and Buzz rely on the preexistence of Hype and Buzz. To have 10K fans and subscribers talking about you on YT next week you're going to need 5K fans to start with tomorrow. How do you instantly drum up 5K fans who don't care anything about you? That's the easiest part!
6. To create the illusion of Hype and Buzz to create more illusory Hype and Buzz you need to simply Google for a service that supplies what you need: YT subscribers, likes, and positive comments. There are many companies that will deliver overnight success for as little as $200. For that amount you can have 20K new subscribers, tons of likes, and positive (if vapid) comments like "You're a god!" or "It seems impossible but you've done it!" "I can't believe my eyes!"
But isn't this a violation of YT terms of service? Of course, and they'll rap you on the knuckles for it but, remember, you're also advertising with YT (you, now an advertiser rather than a random content provider, are the reason they exist) so they'll let you slide on this buzz-inflation scheme at least once. And even if they shit-can your channel they've done you the favor of delivering you from social media hell. Consider yourself lucky. Plus, you deserve it anyway because you're a scumbag.
7. From now on, the average idiot that clicks on your video will see something that makes no sense, sounds crazy, defies logic and reason and experience, but how can all those subscribers, likes, and positive comments be so wrong? Obviously, the appearance of public opinion ("You're a machine!" "You're a wizard!") overpowers the mental capacities of the average idiot.
Remember, in the world where dollars are spent to manipulate behavior and emotion, "Believing is Seeing." People want to believe! They will eagerly suspend disbelief in order to believe with the herd.
Dollars spent create attention and attention creates belief.
Belief creates perception (I know, it sounds totally backwards but this is how things like religion and money work).
The manufactured perception becomes the new reality.
Money (transformed into attention) will make your bullshit real.
4. Go ahead and upload your video to YT but instead of relying on your disinterested 'friends' and trusting in your abilities, you're going to put your trust in the dollar.
Let's run with an ad like "Impossible Guitar Skills Overnight" or whatever. Just promise to amaze in some way. You won't believe your eyes!
Hang on a second! There's a kink in this whole thing. You don't want real people clicking on a link to a page that has 14 subscribers, two likes, and empty comments sections!
5. Popularity depends on already being popular. This is the trick that most people haven't figured out. It's the old, Catch 22: to be popular you have to already be popular. Hype and Buzz rely on the preexistence of Hype and Buzz. To have 10K fans and subscribers talking about you on YT next week you're going to need 5K fans to start with tomorrow. How do you instantly drum up 5K fans who don't care anything about you? That's the easiest part!
6. To create the illusion of Hype and Buzz to create more illusory Hype and Buzz you need to simply Google for a service that supplies what you need: YT subscribers, likes, and positive comments. There are many companies that will deliver overnight success for as little as $200. For that amount you can have 20K new subscribers, tons of likes, and positive (if vapid) comments like "You're a god!" or "It seems impossible but you've done it!" "I can't believe my eyes!"
But isn't this a violation of YT terms of service? Of course, and they'll rap you on the knuckles for it but, remember, you're also advertising with YT (you, now an advertiser rather than a random content provider, are the reason they exist) so they'll let you slide on this buzz-inflation scheme at least once. And even if they shit-can your channel they've done you the favor of delivering you from social media hell. Consider yourself lucky. Plus, you deserve it anyway because you're a scumbag.
7. From now on, the average idiot that clicks on your video will see something that makes no sense, sounds crazy, defies logic and reason and experience, but how can all those subscribers, likes, and positive comments be so wrong? Obviously, the appearance of public opinion ("You're a machine!" "You're a wizard!") overpowers the mental capacities of the average idiot.
Remember, in the world where dollars are spent to manipulate behavior and emotion, "Believing is Seeing." People want to believe! They will eagerly suspend disbelief in order to believe with the herd.
Dollars spent create attention and attention creates belief.
Belief creates perception (I know, it sounds totally backwards but this is how things like religion and money work).
The manufactured perception becomes the new reality.
Money (transformed into attention) will make your bullshit real.
You will believe your own bullshit!
Suddenly, the next thing you know, some idiot is on FB or some old bulletin board or Reddit or wherever proclaiming the coming of a new guitar god ("He's like a machine!" or "It seems impossible but there it is!" or "I bet you can't play this!").
Suddenly, the next thing you know, some idiot is on FB or some old bulletin board or Reddit or wherever proclaiming the coming of a new guitar god ("He's like a machine!" or "It seems impossible but there it is!" or "I bet you can't play this!").
I bet you can't play this!
Now, all you have to do is continue to make bogus videos that are obvious fakes to anyone who hasn't been absorbed by the social media hologram but, most importantly, you need to continue to spend those advertising dollars.
It doesn't take much money to reach thousands of people (dumb enough to click on the bait) and there are innumerable companies that can help you for next to nothing. A few $ gets you 500 subscribers tomorrow! And likes out the wazoo!
They're going to chum the water for you my friend.
Sure, you're living a lie but, remember, it's better to be a phony and be liked on YT than it is to have above-average talent and be totally ignored!
Right?
Right?!
Besides, stick with it long enough and all the new attention coming your way will overwhelm your own mind to the point that you'll believe your own bullshit and, not only that, you'll have an able mini-army of bots and derranged fans to defend your reputation. The nay-sayers are just jealous little bitches who can't play!
I saw him do it live!
(You there, don't look behind the curtain!)
With enough trips to the advertising well, they'll name a Strange-berg after you!
Yes, spending money at YT and the F-book are the roads to internet success. You'll not only have an odd little guitar you can carry around in your back pocket but you'll be able to dress like a tax accountant part-timing as a lumber jack at Starbucks and live in a flat in London that looks like a page from the Ikea catalog.
You'll be a machine!
If the internet is making you miserable there's a reason for it. You are supposed to be miserable unless you are spending advertising dollars and hiring sleazy hype-spinners to make you visible to the herd of idiots you actually despise.
Sound terrible? I suggest checking out Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now (by Jaron Lanier) from your local library.
Now, all you have to do is continue to make bogus videos that are obvious fakes to anyone who hasn't been absorbed by the social media hologram but, most importantly, you need to continue to spend those advertising dollars.
It doesn't take much money to reach thousands of people (dumb enough to click on the bait) and there are innumerable companies that can help you for next to nothing. A few $ gets you 500 subscribers tomorrow! And likes out the wazoo!
They're going to chum the water for you my friend.
Sure, you're living a lie but, remember, it's better to be a phony and be liked on YT than it is to have above-average talent and be totally ignored!
Right?
Right?!
Besides, stick with it long enough and all the new attention coming your way will overwhelm your own mind to the point that you'll believe your own bullshit and, not only that, you'll have an able mini-army of bots and derranged fans to defend your reputation. The nay-sayers are just jealous little bitches who can't play!
I saw him do it live!
(You there, don't look behind the curtain!)
With enough trips to the advertising well, they'll name a Strange-berg after you!
Yes, spending money at YT and the F-book are the roads to internet success. You'll not only have an odd little guitar you can carry around in your back pocket but you'll be able to dress like a tax accountant part-timing as a lumber jack at Starbucks and live in a flat in London that looks like a page from the Ikea catalog.
You'll be a machine!
If the internet is making you miserable there's a reason for it. You are supposed to be miserable unless you are spending advertising dollars and hiring sleazy hype-spinners to make you visible to the herd of idiots you actually despise.
Sound terrible? I suggest checking out Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now (by Jaron Lanier) from your local library.