Allan Holdsworth -- the Heidegger of Music

I've tried to appreciate Holdsworth's music for years, every now and then giving it another spin, but I cannot for the life of me see what the big deal is. It's lounge music for androids hobbled by cheese ball vocals and difficult for the sake of difficulty guitar work. I know I'm supposed to think it's  the greatest thing out there because we've been told to think that way.

Eddie Van Halen says he's the best! Oh my god, let me change my shorts!

It reminds me of the philosopher Heidegger. Heidegger's work is totally meaningless but lots of philosophers think he's the best ever. They arrive at this conclusion because his books are basically impenetrable linguistic mirrors -- they project into it whatever they want to see. But there's nothing really there except for a lot of mumbo jumbo. You can't even say his work suffers from bad translations because you could substitute any word for anything else and it would make the same sense. Just replace "Being" with "beans", for example, and you've done no harm at all.

Anyways, I was trying yet again to grasp the Holdsworthian charisma on YouTube when the symbolic order staged an intervention: if you like this we recommend ... wait, what? Ha ha.